Anyway, he just left for work... again. I guess that's the brutal trade-off of getting to be stay-at-home "house-mommy": Brian works his butt off and picks up all the extra time he's even allowed to pick up. I try to tell him often, but I don't think he'll ever quite get exactly how much I appreciate his devotion - not to work, but to us, our son, our family. Granted, it would be impossible for me to work as a reserve flight attendant with a child (not to mention an infant!). But, it's still a lot of days and nights he spends away just to make sure our little family stays afloat.
I'm not writing this morning (holy moly, almost afternoon!!) to mope about our "financial situation." Actually, quite the opposite. I just got the urge to brag on my hunky. He reminded me, as he left for work, that this was the 1st of the last 3 times he was going to be leaving us for work as an FO (first officer, for those of you who don't know airline lingo!). Next week he begins training for his upgrade, not only to a captain (!!!!!) but also for a new airplane (the Canadair CRJ-700). Can I just say, "Wow!" We thought this would happen, you know, a couple of years from now was the hope. Before Thanksgiving last year, while in South Carolina, he got the call... our prayers were answered and it would be happening this year. There really could not have been a better time... well, maybe a couple of years ago would've been nice, but, hey, beggars cannot be choosers, right?? I am so proud of him - his hardwork and determination. It's all about to pay off (literally!).
I think a lot of people wondered if, with the way our marriage came to be, maybe we were jumping head first into something without being in the right "place." For some reason, it just occured to me to write this out. Maybe because, with every new day, I fall more in love with my husband, my son, my life. I had so many bad experiences, bad choices, mistakes, and things didn't always happen the way I envisioned (I know I'm not the only one in the world who can say that). But, I have to make this very clear to you: I cannot bring myself to regret any of it. Not a thing. Because anytime I reflect on the life before Chicago, before Brian and Jackson, I think, "Man, one tiny change... one single thing happening different... I would not be here." It's not an exaggeration. Things happened in a very specific pattern to push me into the airlines, into moving to Chicago, and what did I get? I met my husband. A wonderful, loving, caring, handsome man who makes me laugh everyday. He's one of only a couple of men who have shown me what uncondtional love is (I'm including family here, folks, don't get carried away!). I never thought I'd find that outside of my family. I searched for it everywhere... not always in the best places, people, or activities. That love that envelopes you for exactly what you are and nothing else.
There are still things I want to accomplish. I really want to get into nursing, and I want to finish a degree at Clemson, and I want to get back into the theatre. And this is the first in my life where I feel all of that is completely within reach, because I have completed my circle of inspiration and support - from it's foundation in South Carolina (my mama is the reason I have had strength to fight through the bad and see the good, my grandmother gives me wings, and my aunt has always been someone I looked up to) to my new family here in Illinois. It's a great feeling. A warmth and comfort and satisfaction that is brand new.
I don't think I'll have a lot of sloppy, mushy entries like this. I just had a moment of reflection after Brian left for work that I wanted to get "onto paper." I hear someone waking up from his morning nap, so I had better go for now.
So, until next time, remind someone you love how much you appreciate them!
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| My hunky! <3 |
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